For thirty years I was an administrator at a university and it was always interesting to me to see how attitude affected members of my staff. Changes would come often because of: new technology, re-evaluating how we did things or new assignmentsfrom higher up. Staff reaction to these changes were both interesting and sometimes surprising. A few of them always preferred the ‘status quo’ regardless of the difficulty of their currently assigned task(s). They didn’t want any changes in their routine procedures, even if it would have improved that procedure or the outcome or even the ease in doing. Others loved a challenge with variation in their work day and they were soon bored with every assignment that failed to provide that challenge. Some staff were not happy regardless of their assignment; they usually had something negative to say about whatever was going on in life. The attitude of individual members of my staff definitely played a part in the overall productivity of my unit.
I can’t think of any function of human thought that has more influence on behavior and emotion than one’s attitude. In human relations there are very few things that turn people away more often than a negative attitude and at the same token not many things are more attractive about an individual than a positive one. The lines below were taken from a poem written anonymously by a wise person.
“Things seem to turn out best for those people
who can make the best out of the way things turn out.
It’s not the situation,
It’s your reaction to the situation.
What has happened to you, good or bad,
only your thinking makes it so.”
—Author Unknown
A similar statement was made nearly two thousand years ago by a Roman Emperor, “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” (Marcus Aurelius)
Years ago, during my early career working as a counselor, a woman came to me crying, emotionally and physically beaten. She had a black eye and other bruises, nothing life threatening, but obviously she was living in what could become a life threatening situation. Her husband was abusive and accused her of being unfaithful to him. Her mother and others had suggested that she leave this abusive relationship. I asked her, “Why is it that you do not take their advice and leave this man?” Her response was one of the saddest statements, I believe, I have ever heard. She said, “I can’t leave him, he is the only one who loves me enough to even beat me.” Her self esteem had already deteriorated to the point that to her, her life had no value. It is sad when a person has such a low opinion of them self that they seem to accept their current circumstance as their only option. They, therefore, resign themselves to continue in it. “If circumstances had the power to bless or harm, they would bless and/or harm all men alike but the fact that the same circumstance will be alike, good and bad, for different souls proves that the good or bad is not in the circumstance, but only in the mind (attitude) of the person that encounters it.” ( James Allen)
There are times that it appears that a person must enjoy their unhappy circumstance, their real or imagined being picked on as the underdog. A friendly gesture or sincere advice is brushed off as to somehow make less dire their circumstance. I admire much of the wisdom of Charlie Brown, the comic strip character, who must have had a straight face when he said “This is my depressed stance. When you’re depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high, because then you’ll start to feel better. If you’re going to get any joy out of being depressed, you’ve got to stand like this.” One’s attitude towards self is most likely formed in early years but given later circumstances, positive or negative, that attitude can be modified. If only we could all come to know our own eternal value and how our Heavenly Father views us. I think then that no one or thing, nor any event could ever dissuade us from having anything but the highest respect for ourselves.
We are His offspring and it is His desire to bring us all home one day; home with our bodies and our spirits healthy and in tact. “He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how.” (Nietzsche)
At times, when our self esteem seems to be low, we have to use something to prop ourselves up and it can take many different forms. There are verbal or mental props, material or physical props, or props that may take different shapes and forms. I believe my wife and I, who are in our mid to late-seventies, use thought props, as well as, verbal props. We may not even realize that we are using props but others may see them as such. For example: when we are asked how we are, we often respond by saying, “Super!” I even add sometimes that, “if I were any better I would have to go out and buy me a cape!” It is an effective prop because we, mentally, are in a better mood, have a better attitude and a better disposition for the day. We know that we are loved by our Heavenly Father, by our children, our friends and by each other. We are not rich in respect to worldly goods but are we ever rich in the most important respect, self respect. “Thought is the sculptor who can create the person you want to be.” —Henry David Thoreau
May God bless us all to realize our eternal destinies and our eternal value. If necessary, may we use thought props to help us maintain healthy attitudes. A healthy attitude will help us maintain healthy bodies, healthy minds, and healthy spirits.