One of the saddest phrases one can hear when asked why a person did something wrong is, ‘I had to go along with the others.’ There is something so compelling about friendships and belonging that people have a tendency to do things that, when alone, they would never think of doing. Years ago, while still a university student, I was enrolled in a sociology class. One day, the topic in class turned to group dynamics and what a powerful influence group behavior may have on individuals. Riots, such as the Los Angeles riots, can turn innocent people into criminals in a matter of minutes. Ordinarily, timid people can become hard and cruel when emboldened by the mob. They seem to lose all of their inhibitions that normal controls and self discipline would hold in check. In the 70’s the mobs in Los Angeles were on a rampage, literally destroying practically everything in their path. Looting and breaking windows and even injuring people who tried to stop them or who tried to protect their property.
While a student in that Sociology class, I was also working half time as a bricklayer. Others with whom I worked were good hardworking men, but they, for the most part, smoked, swore, using the Lord’s name in vain and stopped at the local bar for a few beers on the way home after work. When I had an opportunity to work with any of them individually and away from the others, I would find out that many of them were members of the church, and while with me there was no cursing and we often had a good conversation about family and church, etc. As soon as they were back in the group, the swearing and group ethics prevailed. A Psychologist might claim they had split personalities such as the, ‘three faces of Eve’ A Sociologist, on the other hand, would claim that it was just the power of group dynamics. It was interesting to me to have had an opportunity to observe in my work environment the very concept that I was studying in my university class.
Later, I remember reading a newspaper article about seven policemen in Boise, Idaho who were looting stores while on duty, supposedly, protecting the public against such activity. When one of the guilty officers was asked why he did it his response was, “I had to go along with the others or they would have given me the cold shoulder.” How many normally good young people are influenced by friends or groups to do things that they would never do on their own, afraid that they, too, would be given the cold shoulder? Going along with others often involves drugs, drinking,
tobacco or crime. A young person can be a model student and in just a matter of months they may become someone that their parents can hardly recognize.
Fortunately, group dynamics is a two-way street. Good friends and/or good groups of friends can also have a positive effect on a young person. Even those who may have started down the wrong road. For a family who had a wayward child, to see them change and find them in church for the first time in years, to hear him say, “I had to go along with the others.” What a wonderful phrase it would be. That would be a dream as opposed to the nightmare, expressed above!
Why is it so important to be part of a group, to be accepted by those we call friends? It is pretty well accepted that most everyone needs to belong. In some cases, it is so important to be accepted that their reputation, their judgement, their knowledge of right and wrong and eventually, even their freedom is cast away.
The instigators of a destructive group understands perfectly what they are doing. Group dynamics is one of the primary tools that Satan teaches his followers. How proud we have to be when our young people have the courage to resist the friend, who would do an evil deed. One who can resist the group or the crowd and to say, ‘No! I’m not interesting in doing those things.’ One who will say, I don’t want to disappoint my mother, my father, my Bishop, my family and my God. One with the courage of Moroni of old!
There are some people who are referred to as loners and who become anxious when in groups of people. They have very little fear of getting caught up in the group dynamic and influence issue. Their temptations will come from other places. Most of us, however, feel a strong need to belong and may be vulnerable. Young people should be made aware of this phenomenon and warned to be on their guard. There was a byline in the Deseret News several years ago by the ‘Country Sage,’ He stated that, “Righteous living is like shaving, you just can’t do it once, it is something you have to do everyday, all over again.” Warning our children regarding group influences should be repeated frequently as well. May God bless our youth to remain as individuals while standing in their group(s).