It is interesting to me to see how the same principal can often be used for both good and ill or, more commonly, for seemingly opposing purposes. In this case, I am referring to the principal of friction, which applies to mechanical things, as well as human relations and almost everything else in this beautiful world of ours.
For example, an automobile uses friction to make it stop. The brake pads are hydraulically forced against the inside of the wheel drum or disc, and the friction created by that pressure is what stops the car. Without that mechanism, automobiles would not be feasible. Reducing or nearly eliminating the friction in other parts of that same automobile make it possible to carry us from one place to another. For example, if an oil lubricant were not constantly made available between the pistons and the cylinder walls, the heat from the friction would very soon cause the pistons to freeze up, and the car would not move. For one purpose extreme friction is essential, and for another purpose extreme lubrication is necessary to reduce or eliminate friction in the same machine.
Whether it be machines or people, friction is caused by two or more objects rubbing each other in the wrong way, with the excep- tion of brakes where they rub each other the right way.
Humans are not that different from many machines. We go through life constantly being exposed to friction and trying to find ways to smooth things out by using some type of mental or emotional lubricant to reduce the friction. There are some people who seem to know how to apply that communicative lubricant so that things run more smoothly in their homes, their work places and where ever else they associate with people. They are referred to as peace makers. Then there are those who have so many personal problems that they are walking friction machines, everything and everybody rubs them the wrong way, and likewise, they seem to rub everyone else the wrong way. Some people can’t stand friction and seem to do whatever they have to to avoid conflicts, even if it means avoiding people, places and things in order to do so.
My adult daughter recently wrote a segment in her blog about “Going with the flow.” An excerpt from what she writes: “What does it mean? To me it means whatever life gives you, be your best. Life will be rough-and-tumble sometimes, and other times things will be going so good that you fear for the bubble to pop. But no matter what happens in life, we are in charge of how we feel. In the middle of hardship, we can have gratitude; we can be calm, we can feel peace. In whatever circumstances life gives us, we can “Go with the flow!” ( Joy Shelton) Another way of looking at it is: Whatever problems come to us in life, whether the friction is light or extreme, we can minimize the hurt, the frustration, the sorrow, etc., by accepting it with peace or by, ‘going with the flow.’ If we fight everything life throws at us, the friction will be so intense that life will be miserable.
Friction for some reason reminds me of matches. I remember from my youth that matches were used daily to start fires in our wood cook stoves or the old pot bellied heaters. They were also used daily to provide light for our homes; homes which in those days commonly used oil lamps and/or candles for light which were lit with matches. Too, it seemed like in the days of my early youth, that most adults smoked cigarettes, cigars, or pipes. Most everyone carried matches with them every where they went.
A match was lit by striking the sulphur head against a rough object, causing enough friction to create a spark that lit the match. We can create an analogy here, because friction is what also sparks a fire in the eyes of those who are ready for a fight or an argument. It almost seems that there are those who can hardly wait for that spark from another so they can jump in the fray. It amazes me to think that just in my lifetime matches went from something commonly carried by most people, to our day, when very few people carry them. It’s usually by those who still smoke. Smokers are in the minority in this country today. When I was growing up smoking and alcoholic advertisements were everywhere. The advertising models made it look really cool to smoke and to have a glass of wine or beer in your hand. I don’t believe I remember any of the early movies where the actress or actor did not have a cigarette in their hand or their mouth, or they were in the process of lighting up. I started smoking when I was 11 years old because it seemed like the smart thing to do or something that I would be doing sooner or later anyway. I never became smart enough to quit until I was nineteen and, thank goodness, I did. I could tell that it was killing me! I remember striking matches on my Levi pant leg to create enough friction to ignite them, in order to light up. People who did not smoke were in such a minority, that if cigarette smoke bothered them, they would just have to go outside or somewhere away from the smokers to get fresh air. Now the smoker has to go somewhere else.
There has been a lot of friction caused by smoking in the last several decades. We have come full circle from smokers smoking anywhere they pleased while nonsmokers had to go outside to breath. Smokers, for a while, were only allowed to smoke in designated areas in restaurants or other public places. Then it was decided that such a regulation was silly; it was compared to young swimmers only being allowed to pee in certain parts of the public swimming pool. Now smokers have to go outside to smoke so nonsmokers can breath and enjoy clean air.
As an old man, I have reviewed in my mind the most common causes of friction between people. I believe the quick answer is simple: it has, primarily, to do with people’s wants and comforts. One good example are rooms where both women and men share the thermostat. Some complain because they feel it is freezing, while others in the same room complain because it is too hot. Husbands and wives have the same problem in their homes. Some of those people have no concern about the comfort of others. They want it at the temperature that pleases them, regardless of how others would like it. A suggestion that those who feel chilly put a sweater on or those who are hot, take one off is offensive to them. Friction is most generally caused by a small thing made big by selfish and self centered people. Friction will only be relieved or minimized when people become just as concerned about others and their feelings as they are with their own.
When we come to that mature point in our spiritual natures where we are willing to ‘do unto others as we would have them do unto us.’ That doesn’t necessarily mean that we give everyone else their way without any concern for our own comfort. It means that we become congenial peace makers and learn how to compromise. Compromise means to come together, to meet half way, to share the comfort as well as the discomfort. That, I believe, is what is meant in the scriptures, that in the end we will all ‘see eye to eye.’ God bless us to expect friction in life but at the same time learn how to alleviate it in an amiable way.