The first time I ever heard the word facade was when I was seventeen years old and working as a Hod carrier for a brick contracting company. We were contracted to put a brick facade on an old, three story bank building in my home town; new face on an old building.
A facade is defined as ‘the front of a building or the primary side of a building facing the street.’ A second meaning is ‘an artificial or deceptive front.’ The term is often used, figuratively, with implications of an imposing appearance concealing something inferior. In street terms it means putting up a false front. In relation to human beings, it means acting as if you are someone or something that you are not. Fanny Brice said, “Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?”
In a social science class that I attended as a young college student, the term was used more liberally and without a particularly negative connotation. We discussed the many roles or facades that each of us play in our lives. Some are thrust on us by virtue of our societal mores or traditions and some of them, we willingly and joyfully accept, because of the personal benefits derived from playing the role(s). As students, we were each asked to list the various facades that defined our lives. I was amazed at the number of various roles that I played in the course of each and every day. I was almost embarrassed to use the term role let alone the word play. It sounded like I was not a real person but one who was play acting my way through life. Everyone, not just me, was cast as players in the drama of life.
At that time I was newly married, and so the first role that came to my mind was the role of husband. I hadn’t been married very long, so that role was one I was still rehearsing. I was not without a script, however, because I had observed the husband role being played by my dad, as well as the dads of my friends. I knew a little bit about how the role was played. My wife, of course, would be evaluating how well I played the husband role, based on how her father played that role. Unfortunately, he played it differently than my dad, and so there were some adjustments to be worked out.
I was an apprentice bricklayer working half-time while attending Utah State University. I played the role of a construction worker, working every day with hard working, street talking men. When I was with them, I behaved as they behaved and was one with them, except for the street talk, smoking and after work tavern stop. I played that role carefully, and as long as I could carry my workload satisfactorily, I was well accepted.
I was a first time university student, recently married and recently discharged from the army. I was just learning to play the role of a student. I had just begun wearing glasses, as if it was part of my costume, so I even looked the part. Studying was a relatively new experience for me and not an easy one. But because I wanted very much to succeed, I worked hard at it and was soon a serious student, and I fit right in to the university student role. I had essentially developed a student facade, playing and appearing that role very well.
It wasn’t much more than a year after we were married that we had a baby boy. Now I had to learn to play the role of a father as well. I loved the thought of playing that role, except for the changing of diapers. The father role was learned from my father and I’m afraid he wasn’t a proactive father. He was a passive father, and it was hard for me to really get involved in my kids’ lives. I lacked the understanding of how the role should really be played. My six children were getting older before I realized I didn’t have to follow dad’s pattern. I guess I finally got it right, because of the close relationship I have with my wonderful adult children. An example is this little note from my only daughter on this past Father’s Day: “Happy Father’s Day to all dads!! But especially to the greatest daddy in all the world! Mine. Thank you for your love and great example all my life, I love you!” Similar statements have been made by each one of them.
Upon graduation from the University, I became a high school counselor and later after additional education, I became a university administrator, requiring that I wear many hats. When I played that role, I tried to play it low key. I did not want to appear bossy or ‘better than thou’ to my staff, whom I genuinely loved and enjoyed working with. One of the most challenging roles I have had to play is that of a member of my church. An active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, over the course of many years, will accept many callings, some of which are very demanding. I am hesitant to think that any of my church roles have been anything less than genuine. Based on the concept taught in that social science class, of many years ago, all of our life’s roles are genuine.
Even though it is still difficult for me to use the term facade to identify the many roles that one plays in life, it does have a great deal of legitimacy. I can see and sometimes feel myself changing my way of thinking as I move from one of my roles to another. In many cases, I have even changed my clothing (costume) as I moved from one role to another. William Shakespeare said in his play: ‘As You Like It,’ “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts,” whether we like it or not!
May God bless us to ‘play our roles’ seriously and genuinely. One day we will be judged based on the talents we were given and how well we used our talents to play our roles in life. (Matthew 25)