I have always known the importance of speaking to others with a soft voice and, whenever possible, to add a little honey (a compliment), if there is one handy. That is not to mean we should make one up, one that is untrue. Most people know whether they are receiving a compliment or if someone is saying an untruth just to be friendly. I can’t remember the exact saying off hand, but it went something like this: “It is always easier to catch a fly with a little honey than it is with a swatter.” (Maybe that was supposed to be vinegar.) Either way, the point is made. I have never met a person who was not blessed by a little honey, especially if they knew or felt that the honey is real and/or genuine. That is especially true within a marriage or a family. There are probably very few people who are rewarded monetarily, let alone verbally, for the many things they feel they do for others. In other words, I believe it is pretty hard to make a mistake when complimenting another for the good things they do. Some people are naturally outgoing and friendly, and if we shadowed them for a day, we would probably be able to observe the characteristics that make them worthy of praise. Primarily, people like people. When we are given an opportunity to observe others, we know things about them that others may never notice or mention to them. It is not a hard thing to be sincere when complimenting others because most people sincerely do deserve to be complimented.
Young and newly married couples often get caught up in the critical phase of marriage, the phase where the new husband hasn’t yet realized that his wife is not his mother. His wife will be doing housework, cooking, etc. the way she was taught to do it, not the way his mother did it. Or the wife hasn’t yet realized that her husband is not going to do the same things around their home that her father did nor in the same way, not even in the same time frame. Her father may have been a handyman and a doer, while her new husband may never have had a hammer in his hand. There are bound to be unfulfilled expectations on both sides. Before long, they realize that if they are going to make their marriage work, they have to make some compromises. Coming to that realization that life will be different will take a little time—a difficult time and lots of patience and a lot of honey. Hopefully, they will be mature enough to endure their adjustment period. If they survive that period of marriage, they may be more likely and able to endure to the end. The many marriages that end in divorce primarily end because the couple could never get by that initial period of adjustment to each other.
I usually do not take the time for Facebook or other Internet communication tools, but when I see a grandchild address me, I really want to reply. I am often blessed for doing so. The other day my granddaughter, Ariane, put up some cute pictures of her two sweet little children and some outing they had been on. I merely responded with: “Ariane, Proud of the job you are doing with those kids—you are a great Mom—also happy with the road you are on. I know it is tough for you but when we try our best, best things happen. Grandpa Hanson.” Ariane responded with a sweet reply that made my day, she said: “Thanks, Grandpa. That really means a lot to me. (I’m crying a little right now.) It is a tough road, but I just want what’s best for the kids, regardless. Most of the time it’s hard to tell if I’m doing okay or not, so it really means a lot when I hear encouraging things like that, especially when they’re from the best grandpa in the whole world. Thanks for always being there for me. I love you!” Ariane knows that she is loved by Grandma and me. The compliment to her was genuine and true. Her response to her old grandpa was also complimentary, so we both shed a tear of happiness and we were both benefitted. Just because of “a little honey.”