“Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48)
I have met very few perfectionists in my life, but the few that I have met had very little time for me. They were too busy with their studies, their cleaning and their striving to waste any time with the likes of me. Me, obviously far from their ideal. That’s where Doug Olsen’s remarks fit in: “The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.” The inspiration for those whose ideal for perfection was derived from the Lord’s remarks in Matthew as quoted above. This statement by the Lord has been grossly misunderstood. God is perfect because He has had ions of time to work on it. Even though we are not at the very beginning of our journey toward perfection, we have probably been at it for quite some time. This earth experience is not our first challenge, as we came from afar and lived in a pre-earth state where we were challenged to become worthy of experiencing this earth. Heber J. Grant expressed it this way: “We of this Church have been told of the Lord that before we came to this earth we had a life running back to the remotest stretches of eternity; that as spirits we lived out an existence before we came here, in which we prepared ourselves for life on the earth; that then, having kept our first estate, we came to this earth to obtain knowledge, wisdom, and experience, to learn the lessons, suffer the pains, endure the temptations, and gain the victories of mortality; that when our mortal bodies give up life, our spirits return to take up again the spirit life which we left to come to earth life, and we thereafter go on, building upon the achievements of our first spirit-life, our first estate, and of our mortal life, or second estate, progressing through the endless eternities that follow, until we reach the goal the Lord set: “Be ye perfect.” President Grant left out the part where at some point we will be resurrected, meaning we will regain our physical bodies which will no longer be subject to death, but they will be immortal. The important point being that we have been at this for a very long time, and we will continue to be working on our perfection for ions of time or eternity. The Lord in stating, “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father who is in heaven is perfect,” was in reality expressing our eternal goal.
Those who feel anxious about being and becoming perfect are only creating anxiety for themselves and for those who have to live and associate with them.
I like the attitude of the mother who lives her life as best she can but realizes that raising a family and dealing with children’s issues day in and day out will hardly leave much time for perfection. She stated: “The biggest lesson I think I have learned, besides trusting the Lord, is I don’t have to be perfect. This was such a hard concept for me to understand. I am not a ‘Pinterest’ mom. I occasionally exercise. I am a size 12 not a 2. I read my scriptures most days but not every day. Sometimes, my kids hair isn’t brushed, and they are wearing mismatched socks. But, it is what it is; I am still a daughter of God. I am still a person worthy of so many blessings. At the end of the day, as I sigh, I look at my husband and declare ‘I made it.’ I know I have my Heavenly Father’s love and devotion.” —Cayce Thill (mother of 20), LDS Living.com MR says: “There’s a fine line between striving for perfection in a healthy manner and letting perfectionism debilitate us.” So what do we do when the Lord has commanded us to “be ye therefore perfect?” Perfectionism is a slippery slope. Obsessing over doing everything perfectly can lead to anxiety, depression, broken relationships—and a whole myriad of other problems. James E. Talmage reminds us that “Perfection is relative, meaning that those who eventually reach it will do so differently and at various times based on their own unique talents and ambitions. Doe Zantamata expressed it this way: “If your parents ever measured you as a child, they had you stand against a wall and made a little pencil mark on the wall to show your growth. They did not measure you against your brother, or the neighbor’s kids, or kids on TV. When you measure your growth, make sure to only measure your “today self ” by your past self. If you compare your relationships, your success, or your anything else against anyone else, you are not being fair to you. Each person travels a different path, at a different pace, and experiences different challenges along the way.” The Lord pretty well described what He meant by perfection and his expectation of us in the parable of the talents found in Matthew-25:14–29: “For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods. And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey. Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents. And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two. But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord’s money. After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them. And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more. His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them. His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed: And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine. His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed: Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury. Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents. For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.”
We are intelligent beings, but each of us are different and have varying levels of intelligent matter, described by the Lord in the above parable as talents, as well as in the third chapter of the Book of Abraham: “Howbeit that he made the greater star; as, also, if there be two spirits, and one shall be more intelligent than the other, yet these two spirits, notwithstanding one is more intelligent than the other, have no beginning; they existed before, they shall have no end, they shall exist after, for they are gnolaum, or eternal. And the Lord said unto me: These two facts do exist, that there are two spirits, one being more intelligent than the other; there shall be another more intelligent than they; I am the Lord thy God, I am more intelligent than they all.” (Abraham 3:18–19) Therefore, what perfection means for me will be different than what perfection will mean for you. Thank goodness we are not expected to demonstrate now what we have done with our talents. However, we should be ever mindful that the day will come when we will be asked to report back. Each day we should try to add to those particular talents that we have been given, while trying to be a little more like our loving and just Father. Above all are talents should not be buried nor should we let them lay idle. We need to work at perfection but not be anxious about trying to become perfect in this life because we will fail for sure. Cheer up, for we have ions of time to do it.