They say that death is just as certain as taxes. We can add disappointments as well. Not only are we certain to be disappointed from time to time while we sojourn on this planet earth, but in some cases, the same disappointing event will repeat itself over and over again. Disappointments are usually looked upon as an inward feeling related to a failed personal behavior. In reality, our disappointments commonly have their origin in other people, events and, in some cases, things somewhat or totally unrelated to us. There are some of God’s children who struggle with depression. It may be caused by disappointing events that are indirectly related to that person, possibly even separated by continents. These same events may have literally no effect or very little effect on a healthy person. I believe it is true what Sir Boyle Roche said, “Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.” Still to some poor souls, disappointments can be devastating and depressing to the extent that they are debilitating.
Some might feel that it is personally safer to live a suppressed life by never setting goals or looking to the future with a great deal of hope. Sir Boyle Roche continued by saying, “Disappointment is a sort of bankruptcy—the bankruptcy of a soul that expends too much in hope and expectation.” The other side of that coin is if we place too much fear or concern about failure and the possibility of future disappointments, then our expectations and hope for future, growth, happiness, and joy would also be bankrupt.
There are disappointments that come because a plan failed to materialize, and that may have represented a failed dream as well as a financial loss. We are disappointed when we don’t do as well on an exam as we thought we should have, based on the amount of study and thought that went into it. We may have lost a job or a promotion based on a failure to interview as well as we would have wanted to. We may have failed to perform athletically and felt that we had let the team down or that we disappointed the spectators. These are all disappointments that are personal in nature, and how we bounce back is the best measure of a person’s strength.
One of my handball partners is so positive that regardless of how bad he is playing or how far behind he is, he will always say, “OK, I’m going to get you now; this game isn’t over yet!” He is always positive about his ability to make a come back even when there is no hope, or very little, that he could do what he is saying.
Many disappointments are generated by the children we sire. We may feel that they have great potential, but they are operating at a level much lower than we feel they could or should. I remember my mother’s expression of disappointment in me for something I either did or did not do. She would never scold or spell out her disappointment; she would simply look at me with a disappointed look and say my name. I, of course, knew exactly what it was I did or did not do to deserve the expression. The look always came close enough to the event to make it apparent. Yes, disappointments can be debilitating.
Recovery from personal disappointments, disappointments in ourselves, may be equated to the process of repenting. We have that knowledge in our mind that we failed to do as well as we could have. We may feel guilty or angry for letting ourself down or letting someone we care about down. The process we go through to repent may be the best formula for recovering from a personal disappointment. Whatever recovery process we choose, we cannot let our disappointments get us down, but rather accept them as part of our life’s journey and spring back to a renewed determination to do better next time. We all must conclude, as did Laurence Olivier, who stated: “Living is strife and torment, disappointment and love and sacrifice, golden sunsets and black storms.” All of our dreams and expectations should incorporate both the possibility of success as well as failures (disappointments) in each and everyone of our life’s activities.