When I think about being in the world, it does not conjure up negative thoughts about how mean, cruel and diverse the world is. I rather feel that the diversity, for the most part, is good; it is how we learn to deal with all aspects of life that are going to confront us sooner or later. We are in the world, and there is nothing we can do about that, nor would we if we could. It is a beautiful place to be. I think the following story describes what I mean by being in the world. I enjoy watching the baseball playoffs on TV, and I believe that I would also enjoy a local game once in a while. We live just a block away from a minor team’s stadium, and sometimes I think that I would enjoy going to a game. However, there is something that keeps me from following through with my desire to attend. I think my concern about going over there and buying a ticket has to do with my experience many years ago. When my children were young, I took them to a baseball game at this local stadium, and we were sitting approximately in the center of the bleachers. Down below us, several yards away, were a group of young men who were quite rowdy, drinking, boisterous, swearing, laughing and obviously having a good time. Had I not had my children with me, I would probably had been able to ignore them. As it was, we got up and left. I believe the kids were bored anyway as baseball is not the fastest moving and most “edge of seat” exciting athletic game in sports. When something does happen, like a home run, that brings in three other players, that is exciting, but that very seldom happens. Possibly, the memory of that particular group is what may keep me from buying another ticket to the local game. I felt too much in the world. We learn from our experiences and may not always remember from one experience to the next what turns us away from becoming involved in similar future events. An anonymous person penned the following: “The trouble with life is, you’re halfway through it before you realize it’s a do-it-yourself course.” No one else is going to make decisions that count for you. So the decisions we make are ours and how we make them is based on our previous experiences. “Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.” From An Essay on Criticism, by Alexander Pope. I try to avoid rushing in as much as I can, but every once in a while, I find myself where I do not want to be. While I was a graduate student at Utah State University, I had an opportunity to attend a week-long seminar during one summer term. The seminar was being held at the University of California at Berkeley. The first day there was an orientation session and the person leading the orientation was a young woman. Every other word that came out of her mouth was a filthy word. I thought at first that she was just testing us as to our sensitivity to street talk. The seminar was, after all, about helping problem children and how to counsel with them. Well, that was not the case (maybe wishful thinking), as she was in every session using her foul language. I could probably have handled the street talk, but using the Lord’s name in vain really got to me. Sometime during the second day together, I confronted her and said that I did not believe using that kind of language, as street youth may do, is necessary to be able to relate to them. I offended her because it so happened that it was the way she always talked; she was not putting on an act at all. I was deep inside the world for another four days until the seminar was over. I remember talking almost that bad as a youth growing up, and after joining the church, I had to learn how to talk all over. The scriptures talk about baptism and how the person being baptized should put off the old man (person) and come forth as a new man(person). That is what I felt I had actually done at the time I was baptized, but during that brief seminar I felt that I had been brutally tossed back into the world. We are also told to stand in holy places, but as long as we are in the world, we will have to endure being in places less than holy very much of the time. I have learned many things since that time about tolerance and living in the world. I have learned that most people are good people regardless of their beliefs and the way they talk. My ears have learned to be less sensitive, and I believe my heart has grown bigger. I just plain like most all people. That young lady in my seminar turned out to be a friend and a very sweet and caring person after I got to know her. The following story describes somewhat how I currently believe:
“As a young bride newly arrived in Cambridge, Massachusetts, I experienced some cultural shock. In those days, Boston billed itself as the hub of culture, which included the leading families of a society very unfamiliar to me. In our first Relief Society meeting in a little old house on Brattle Street in Cambridge, I listened as a strong, faithful, wise woman (a longtime resident) implored us: Now don’t you Utah girls come here and hold your noses for four years wishing you were back in the only true West, where things are done right. Absorb this wonderful culture! Learn New England cookery. Get to know your Yankee neighbors. That may take some patience, but it’s well worth it. Catholics are people. Take the subway over to the Esplanade and hear the Boston Symphony, free, this summer. Do it; then you, as well as your husbands, will have something to take home. I believed her. Her sound advice changed my responses, and changed my life.
When our four years were over, my husband brought home a Ph.D., and I came back loving New England—its speech patterns, seafood, Catholics, and all. This kind sister taught me about differences and a most impressive lesson on tolerance, and I learned that tolerating differences can lead to love.”
Elder Dallin H. Oaks counseled: “We are to live in the world but not be of the world. We must live in the world because, as Jesus taught in a parable, His kingdom is ‘like leaven,’ whose function is to raise the whole mass by its influence. His followers cannot do that if they associate only with those who share their beliefs and practices. But the Savior also taught that if we love Him, we will keep His commandments.” I’m sure he did not mean that we have to totally blend in and become “like” to be able to at some time influence them in positive ways. He added: “As the gap between the world’s views and the Church’s values widens, it becomes increasingly more essential for Church members to learn how to not only tolerate but genuinely love all of God’s children.”
I have learned, in some cases a little painfully, that I can live in the world and that I can tolerate cultures and worldly behavior and love people of all walks regardless of how they think and talk. The world is a beautiful place, and so are the people that live in it.