“Giving and taking” has been the way of life for man and animals ever since Adam left the Garden of Eden. Many people, when asked to do a favor or a straight out request from another to do something for them, will do it without thinking. Those who have the mentality of “what is in it for me?” are hardly ever included and considered friends or a member of social groups. People’s needs are great, and they cannot satisfy them by themselves. They need help to get many things done that they want done. Bartering was one of the first things primitive man learned, and those who became best at the process also became the wealthiest. Wealth may have meant, at one time, having the most shells or whatever it was that had value. Things considered of value have changed many times over the thousands of years of man’s existence. I rather doubt that a neighbor, when asked a favor from the man next door, is going to calculate the project in terms of time and energy that will have to be spent, wear and tear on tools he may have to use, etc. Then carefully calculate what he may be able to get from his neighbor if he does the favor. Neighbors, members of the same church, and friends may never ask what is in it for me when doing something for others. There may be one in those groups who abuses his membership in terms of favors, and then others in that group will start making excuses not to help with his projects anymore.
When it comes to business, it is an altogether different bartering system. They may be neighbors, but when the project is too big, it no longer has the “favor” label; it becomes business. Each of the negotiators will try to gain some advantage. Part of the negotiation will be trying to calculate how badly the one needs the work done, and from the other side—how badly does he want to do the job, or how bad does he need the money. Mark Twain described the principle of “give and take” by saying that “it is diplomacy—give one and take ten.”
Adam Grant, in his bestselling book Give and Take, described givers and takers this way: “Takers have a distinctive signature: they like to get more than they give. They tilt reciprocity in their own favor, putting their own interests ahead of others’ needs. Takers believe that the world is a competitive, dog-eat-dog place.
They feel that to succeed, they need to be better than others. To prove their competence, they self-promote and make sure they get plenty of credit for their efforts. Garden-variety takers aren’t cruel or cutthroat; they’re just cautious and self-protective. ‘If I don’t look out for myself first,’ takers think, ‘no one will.’ Givers are a relatively rare breed. They tilt reciprocity in the other direction, preferring to give more than they get. Whereas takers tend to be self-focused, evaluating what other people can offer them, givers are other-focused, paying more attention to what other people need from them. …Givers and takers differ in their attitudes and actions toward other people. If you’re a taker, you help others strategically, when the benefits to you outweigh the personal costs. If you’re a giver, you might use a different cost-benefit analysis: you help whenever the benefits to others exceed the personal costs. Alternatively, you might not think about the personal costs at all, helping others without expecting anything in return. If you’re a giver at work, you simply strive to be generous in sharing your time, energy, knowledge, skills, ideas, and connections with other people who can benefit from them… It just involves a focus on acting in the interests of others, such as by giving help, providing mentoring, sharing credit, or making connections for others.
In close relationships, most people act like givers. In marriages and friendships, we contribute whenever we can without keeping score. But in the workplace, give and take becomes more complicated. Professionally, few of us act purely like givers or takers, adopting a third style instead. We become matchers, striving to preserve an equal balance of giving and getting. Matchers operate on the principle of fairness: when they help others, they protect themselves by seeking reciprocity.”
The above description of bartering makes it sound so mechanical, when in real life, bartering is so natural that most people aren’t even aware that it is going on. Yet it is as normal a process as eating and brushing our teeth. Bartering is the way of life and most usually in transparency. It is a “give and take” world even somewhat like “supply and demand.”