I was listening to the radio on the way home from the FamilySearch Library the other evening, and Gladys Knight happened to be singing “Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me.” I have always enjoyed that song, especially the way she sang it. What a thought provoker: I have had so many best things happen to me that if I could share, where would I start, and how long would my list be? Can the best things include events, as well as things, and especially people? The thought occurred to me that making such a list would be a great way to start writing a personal history. Verse two of the song states “If anyone should ever write my life story. For whatever reason there might be.” Gladys should change the verse to say: “If ever I should write my life story, for whatever reasons there might be…” Now that Gladys is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, she probably knows what reasons “there might be” for doing it.
If all of the personal histories that have ever been written were analyzed, would the “best things” described in those histories be primarily “things” and “events,” or would the best things be described as the people that found their way in and out of our lives? My guess would be “people,” and the following study confirms that.
One of the most comprehensive long term research studies ever conducted began at Harvard in the late nineteen thirties. There were 268 men who entered college that year, and this study followed those men for 72 years through wars, careers, sickness, health, marriage, parenthood, grandparenthood and old age. The primary researcher was Dr. George Vaillant, a man who essentially devoted his life to keeping the project alive. The men in this study illuminated the one single factor that correlated most highly with a positive life assessment in old age. This factor came out while Dr Vaillant was being interviewed in 2008 in respect to a question about what he had learned from the men in the study. He said that the most important thing that he had learned is that “The only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people.” It merely confirmed what the oldest and the wisest people among us have always known. The most successful life is not based on what we get or have. The most significant moments were births, deaths, weddings, family celebrations and associations. Our most profound moments are when we touch others or when they have touched us during times of suffering, loss, sickness, or death, as well as, times of happiness and joy. A satisfactory life is about human connections: parents, siblings, spouses, children, friends, neighbors and mentors. Without them, life loses its flavor. Lasting satisfaction with one’s life is rare outside of meaningful human relations.
Yes! When we write our life’s story, we should probably identify someone, not something, that was the best thing that ever happened to us.
There have been many things and circumstances that have happened to me in the last eighty years of my life, things that were significant and directed me toward many successes. However, one of the very most important and significant was becoming a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as a twenty-year-old soldier. That was a thing or an event, but in the middle of that event, there was, without any doubt in my mind, a very important “person,” the person responsible for it to have happened. I was being led, directed and touched by the Holy Ghost. I heard someone refer to Him as a friend one time, and I thought “what a powerful thought,” because, I too, would like to think of Him as a friend.
In writing my life story, for whatever reason there might be, I, like most of you, would have to say, that the “best thing that ever happened to me” would be my marriage to my dear wife of 60 years.
Paraphrasing: “Oh, she’ll be there between each line of pain and glory. Don’t worry for every moment that I’ve spent hurting. There were moments that I spent, just loving her. Now there have been times, when times were hard, but somehow we always made it; we made it through. I guess you could say that we’ve been lucky,. Or, you could say that it’s all because of her. Yes! she was there! She was there between each line of pain and glory. And she’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Yes! And the other best things that have ever happened to you and to me are the other significant people in our lives. Our children, our grand and great-grandchildren. Our extended family, our friends and all the others who have walked in and out of our lives. And please, let us not forget our ancestors whose genes flow through our veins always, and whose stories give us courage to stay on the trail of life. If their stories have not been written, “for whatever reason there may be,” let’s find out about them and then write.