Boyd K. Packer stated in a talk years ago titled “The Plan of Happiness,” ideally, mating begins with romance. Though customs may vary, it flourishes with all the storybook feelings of excitement and anticipation, even sometimes rejection. There are moonlight and roses, love letters, love songs, poetry, the holding of hands, and other expressions of affection between a young man and a young woman. The world disappears around the couple, and they experience feelings of joy. And if you suppose that the full-blown rapture of young romantic love is the sum total of the possibilities which spring from the fountains of life, you have not yet lived to see the devotion and the comfort of longtime married love. Married couples are tried by temptation, misunderstandings, financial problems, family crises, and illness, and all the while love grows stronger. Mature love has a bliss not even imagined by newlyweds. True love requires reserving until after marriage the sharing of that affection which unlocks those sacred powers in that fountain of life. It means avoiding situations where physical desire might take control. Pure love presupposes that only after a pledge of eternal fidelity, a legal and lawful ceremony, and ideally after the sealing ordinance in the temple are those procreative powers released in God’s eye for the full expression of love. It is to be shared solely and only with that one who is your companion forever. When entered into worthily, this process combines the most exquisite and exalted physical, emotional, and spiritual feel- ings associated with the word love. That part of life has no equal, no counterpart, in all human experience. It will, when covenants are made and kept, last eternally, “for therein are the keys of the holy priesthood ordained, that you may receive honor and glory” (D&C 124:34), “which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever” (D&C 132:19).
A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really knows what went in it. (Anon) There’s a lot of bad advice out there for men when it comes to marriage. A lot.
Jeff Reagan: “A health enthusiast Made the following wise remarks: Last summer, Karen and I attended a wedding in Cleveland for a long time friend’s son. During the reception, Karen and I were selected along with 2 other couples, to stand up and give a little advice to the newlyweds on their big day. You’ve probably seen this done at a wedding before. After the first dances were over, we got up in front of everyone, along with a few other couples, and one-by-one started giving out advice on how to make a marriage last. I got a good chuckle out of watching the other two guys up there dish out their “advice.” They looked and sounded like two beaten-down dogs that had given up on life . “Whatever she says, just say YES! It will save you a lot of headaches” the first guy muttered. Everyone laughed. “Your days of being right are over. Remember that. Just go along with what she says and you’ll thank me later” said the second guy. The crowd erupted in laughter again. And while everyone in the crowd got a good chuckle from both of these guys advice, I felt an underlying sense of sadness when I heard this. Why? Because this is the way most guys live. And it’s a major disservice to themselves and to their wives. So when the mic was handed to me, I went a different route…“Josh, I’m going to give you a little different advice from what you’ve been hearing. In fact this will be the exact opposite of what you usually hear. Your wife wants you to lead. She wants you to be strong and to make decisions.
She wants you to have a plan. She wants you to be the rock in your marriage. She wants to be at your side and to know that you’re always looking out for the best interest of the two of you, even if what you’re doing upsets her at the time. If you’re planning a night out, she doesn’t want to always be asked “what do you want to do?” She wants you to take charge and make a decision. Because when you lead, she feels safe. And when she feels safe and she feels cared for, she feels like the woman she’s always wanted to be” When I said this I spoke from my heart. I spoke from past experience. And I know in today’s PC society, that a whole bunch of people probably took offense to what I said. Well too bad for them, because they’re missing out on some great insight. Over the next few hours at the reception, I had probably 7-8 women come up and tell me that they LOVED what I said.
One of the women even secretly confessed that she wished her own husband acted that way. Which brings me to my point… If you want your marriage to be better, maybe you want more passion, more love, more fun, more romance…Then you need to lead. Most men don’t do this because they’re afraid of being “controlling.” But being controlling is completely different from leading. Women love a man who leads. They crave it. When a man leads, it allows them to be their feminine self. And women love that. Keep that in mind…God Bless.”
A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really knows what goes in it. (Anon)
Combining those two statements of advice about mating may be of some value to those who may chance to read this. One spiritual and one more earthly in nature.