I sometimes think to myself that I haven’t spent much time with one of my children. I need to call him/her and take them to dinner or do something with them. I say children but the youngest is 45 and the oldest of the six would have been sixty years old this year. He passed away nearly 13 years ago now and very little time passes without his mother and I thinking and talking about him. I often wonder if I was/am a neglectful father even though there is a lot of love between each of them and their ‘old man.’ I don’t have to mention their mother because that is a given. If I asked each one of the five remaining, if I spent enough time with them individually, I wonder what kind of an answer I would get?
A few of them are and have been so busy making a living and a life that they probably have never given it a second thought. Is the way they have turned out any measure of a parent’s parenting? I don’t really know but I do know our children have turned out to be good people, and I could never ask for more than that. I know of some children who have become wonderful people even though their parents were deficient socially, some even in prison.
I believe our family time togetherness has been sufficient. It is the one on one that may have been deficient, as I have been, what some might say, “an in demand person,” most of my life, between work, school, church and projects I have been a busy man.
I am just wondering if I have been perceived as an absentee father much of my life.
The reason this thought has come to me and has made me wonder is because of the following story. I read to old folks every Friday afternoon at a local nursing home. This story was one that I read today and it sparked my curiosity.
How Much Money Do You Make, Dad?
A man came home from work late again, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year-old son waiting for him at the door.
“Daddy, may I ask you a question?”
“Yeah, sure, what is it ” replied the man.
“Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?”
“What makes you ask such a thing?” the man said angrily.
“I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?” pleaded the little boy. “If you must know, I make $20.00 an hour.”
“Oh,” the little boy replied, head bowed. Looking up, he said, “Daddy, may I borrow $9.00 please?”
The father said. “If the only reason you wanted to know how much money I make is just so you can borrow some to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you’re being so selfish. I work long, hard hours every day and don’t have time for such childish games.”
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even madder about the little boy’s question. After an hour or so, the man calmed down, and started to think he may have been a little hard on his son. Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $9.00 and he really didn’t ask for money very often.
The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door. “Are you asleep son?” he asked.
“No daddy, I’m awake,” replied the boy.
“I’ve been thinking , maybe I was too hard on you earlier,” said the man. “It’s been a long day and I took my aggravation out on you. Here’s that $9.00 you asked for.”
The little boy sat straight up, beaming. “Oh, thank you daddy!” he shouted.
Then, reaching under his pillow, he pulled out some more crumpled up bills. The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.
The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at the man.
“Why did you want more money if you already had some?” the father grumbled.
“Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,” the little boy replied.
“Daddy, I have $20.00 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?”
It would have broke my heart to think that one of my children would have felt that they had to buy my time just to get to spend a few minutes with me. Families are so important and yet I’m sure that some members of each family may feel neglected from time to time. God bless us to see and love and to spend time with each and every one of our family members.
Just one hour is all he wanted, he may have been weeks saving what money he had saved without the nine dollars borrowed from Dad. Some of us dads are too danged busy for our families good, I know I have been guilty and whether I can ever make it up to them is the question. There mother carried the responsibility alone for many years. Are any fathers reading this? Learn a lesson—please.