It is interesting to me how one who is shown love returns that love to the one who loved.
There is a story that I have always enjoyed and I have wanted to share it because it has such a great moral to it. It is a ‘Once Upon A Time’ story that starts out with ‘A long time ago.’
A long time ago, somewhere in Asia, a girl named Lili got married and went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Lili found that she couldn’t get along with her mother- in-law at all. Their personalities were very different and Lili was angered by many of her mother- in-law’s habits. In addition, she criticized Lili constantly. Days passed days, and weeks passed weeks. Lili and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing ‘n fighting , but what made the situation even worse was that according to ancient Tsholotsho tradition, Lili had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger ‘and unhappiness in the house was causing the poor husband great distress. Finally, Lili couldn’t stand her mother-in-law’s bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it. Lili went to see her father’s good friend, Mnu Ndlovu, who sold herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all. Mnu Ndlovu thought for a while, and finally said ‘’Lili, i will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you’’ Lili said ‘’yes Mnu Ndlovu l will do whatever you tell me to do’’ Mnu Ndlovu went into the back room and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Lili, ‘’you can’t use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that will cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some pork or chicken and put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now in order to make sure nobody suspects when she dies, you must be very careful, act very friendly towards her. Don’t argue with her, obey her every wish and treat her like a queen. Lili was so happy. She thanked Mnu Ndlovu and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother in law. Weeks went by and months went by and every day Lili served the specially treated food to her mother in law. She remembered what Mnu Ndlovu had said, about avoiding suspicion. So she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law and treated her like her own mother. After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Lili had practiced controlling her bad temper so much that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn’t had an argument in six months with her mother-in-law, who now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with. The mother-in-law’s attitude toward Lili changed and she began to love Lili like he own daughter. She kept telling friends and family that Lili was the best daughter- in-law one could ever find. Lili and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like real mother ‘n daughter. Lili’s husband was very happy to see what was happening. One day Lili came to see Mnu Ndlovu and asked for his help again. She said ‘’Dear Mnu Ndlovu please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law! She’s changed into such a nice woman and I love her like my own mother. I dönt want her to die’’ Mnu Ndlovu smiled ‘and nodded his head. ‘’Lili there’s nothing to worry about, I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were healthy herbs to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love you gave to her.
MORAL: Have you ever realised that how you treat others is exactly how they will treat you. “The person, therefore who loves others will also be loved.” The corollary to that is, “We cease loving ourselves if no one else loves us.” We can all learn from that story regardless of our current relationships with our wives, children, and in-laws. That changes the ‘give and take world’ we live in, to a ‘give and give’ world. N. Waterman wrote the following poem which expresses that concept very well:
“If I knew you and you knew me If both of us could clearly see, And with an inner sight divine
The meaning of your heart and mine I’m sure that we would defer less And clasp our hands in friendliness; Our thoughts would pleasantly agree If I knew you and you knew me.
If I knew you and you knew me, As each one knows his own self, we Could look each other in the face And see therein a truer grace.
Life has so many hidden woes,
So many thorns for every rose;
The “why” of things our hearts would see, If I knew you and you knew me.”