It has, sometimes, been an interesting observation of mine that when someone doesn’t believe my story, my argument, etc., they are intolerant. When I don’t believe theirs it’s either because they were lying or misunderstood the issue.
Joshua Liebman said that: “Tolerance is the positive and cordial effort to understand another’s beliefs, practices and habits without necessarily sharing or accepting them.”
According to logical positivism philosophy, all valid human knowledge is based solely on facts and logic, with no room for subjective elements like intuition or feelings. That logic has been proven to be wrong. Many of the deepest truths about human existence are paradoxical. For example, ‘someone has said that when, “the glass is half empty’ it reflects a truth about a shortcoming and encourages us to strive for completion and fullness. At the same time, when the is perceived to be ‘half full’ we are encouraged to appreciate what we have and avoid poisoning our hearts by focusing on scarcity and what we lack.”
I remember as a youth trying to repair my old 1934 Ford Coupe. The piston rods were beginning to knock, and I knew I had to take the engine apart and replace the rods as well as have the crankshaft ground to within just a few millimeters before putting it back together. That is when I first heard the word tolerance, the rods needed to be within a certain ‘tolerance’ to move freely but not be so loose as to start knocking and wearing again. I was working at a parts store where a machinist worked in the machine shop in the back. He taught me many things about the old cars we drove in those days. Tolerance between moving engine parts and various lubricants were very important for a proper running car. That is actually a pretty good metaphor for tolerance between people as well. People need to have a specific space and to violate someone else’s space makes them ‘knock’ or be uncomfortable.
Maintaining a friendly conversation is like the lubricant. That is what is referred to as tolerable behavior. Relationships like well-lubricated rods will have no reason to knock when there is the right kind of calculated lubricated tolerance in our conversation and space. “The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”-Dorothy Nevill
My wife and I, when standing in line waiting for something or riding a bus or train where there may be other people riding or waiting as well, will always make conversation with those riding along or waiting. We comment about their children or find out where they are from, etc. It seems a very natural thing for us but my son who lives in New York claims that he just can’t do that and he is not alone. There is a certain suspicion, or question about motives as to what the person is really after, is he trying to make conversation so that once friendly he can take advantage of me in some way? The measured intolerance we have for strangers is probably the isolating factor between strangers and those who could possibly become great friends. The more common source of intolerance is based on actions and motives, We may see a stranger doing something or saying something that is different from the way we have always done it or said it and the thought comes to us that what they said or did is ignorant. So, we may shut them out or cut them off mentally. Tolerance is a mindset that grows with age and experience, a broader understanding of things and people. It is also the belief that all people are inherently good. At least we can believe that they were born that way.