You may have heard the term, ‘Point of No Return’. Nowadays they have added two more, ‘Points of No Return’, meaning, where once a decision is made you can no longer turn back. The term was originally referring to air travel where a plane, for example, has flown out into the ocean and no longer has the fuel to turn back and make it safely home. The alternative is to make it to its planned destination or crash into the sea when the fuel is gone. The planes navigator has a very important responsibility. Later, points of no return reference marriage and a person’s profession. That was more true in days long past, but both of those points can easily be returned to, in this modern day.
Fortunately, my wife and I felt like, and still feel like, marriage, for us, was to love and to cherish one another, not only for time (life) but for all eternity. We are in our 64th year of marriage. Speaking for myself, I believe it has been a very happy marriage. Neither of us has ever felt like we would like to turn back. Someone has said that, “Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others and seen as an opportunity to give more than we get, because that is what we feel like doing.”
My wife is the most beautiful person that I know, she is a good scout: smart, kind, benevolent, thoughtful, approachable, and willing to share what she knows with others. She will go the extra mile to make life a little more pleasant for others. I guess you could say that she is a real good scout. There is an old saying that, “One of the functions of marriage is to weave a rope of relationships strong enough to hold each person at his worst.”
Since our marriage has worked so well for so many years, it probably says something for her ‘other half’ as well. This old man is not such a bad guy, either. I know very well that there are times when she wishes that I would change a few things in my personal habits and behaviors but she doesn’t complain too often or too much. At least not to me, that’s what her middle aged daughter is for. We have a lot in common and I believe that is one of the important factors (glues) that has kept us stuck together. She has her favorite things to do and I have mine but they are pretty close. If they weren’t close, it probably wouldn’t work quite so well as it does. I believe one of the most important factors in a successful marriage is the fact that we like, as well as love, each other. In our early years of marriage that probably wasn’t much of a factor because I was always gone: working, school, church, more work and more study. She had plenty on her plate as well, always being called to write or conduct church plays, even with one or even two babies hanging off one hip or the other. We look out for and are concerned about each other’s health and wellbeing. She often babies me when she thinks I need to be babied. I recently read a short discourse on men’s reliance on their Eve’s; God knew that Adam would always be lost in the Garden of Eden, because he knew Adam, like all men, would never ask directions. He knew that one day Adam would need someone to hand him the TV remote, because he knew that Adam didn’t want to see what was on TV, he wanted to see ‘what else’ was on TV. He knew that Adam would never remember which night was garbage night. God knew, also, that if the world was to be populated there would have to be someone to bear them, because men would never be able to handle the pain. As “Keeper of the Garden” Adam would never be able to remember where he put his tools. God said that, “It was not good that man should be alone.” He would only get himself in trouble. What would we do without our Eve’s?
I happen to be one man who does ask directions. Probably the most important things we have in common is our faith. We are both active members of the same faith and believe in the same doctrine, we read the same scriptures together and we pray together. We are twins when it comes to our faith in God: we believe in Him, we love Him and we know that because of Him, we will be companions not only for this time, this life, but also for all eternity.
Another very important factor and probably the most important, are the offspring we have sired together. We have birthed and raised six wonderful and very loving children. Most of them have raised children who will also be raising children, etc. etc. What a wonderful plan our Father in Heaven designed for us, His children. It makes us feel so good to know that our children love and care for us, they want to take care of us, as we took care of them. I’m expecting that one of these days, one of them, will reach over and wipe one of our noses. Just as we did for them when they were less able to take care of those bodily functions.
Have we ever had an argument, a disagreement, you ask? Of course we have, but they are short ones, and soon resolved. We also have misunderstandings because we can’t hear as well as we used to. I accuse her of, “Having good ears, she just can’t hear out of them.” She says the same about me. Our mature children know that neither one of us hear very well anymore, but they are patient with us.
We don’t expect our own happiness to come from each other, we know happiness is an individual and personal experience. That saying “happy wife, happy life.” is a false statement. If she or I will be happy it is because we, ourselves, make us so. Happiness comes from within. If I were unhappy, I could not blame her for it. Knowing that you are loved and cared about is the primary happiness factor. You can encourage your own happiness by becoming a giving person, a loving person. Happy people have developed and arranged their environment, together, to suit and please themselves. A companion can help contribute to your happiness but she or he cannot be blamed for the lack of it. Marriage was and is ordained of God, a forever union. It is a clue that Heavenly Father is most definitely married and His wife is most assuredly a gem, just like mine.
That is why I want to give special thanks to the mother of my wife, Mother Norma. “Dear mother Norma, I am grateful for the daughter that you raised; both of you deserve the best. I thank you for her gentleness, her understanding way, for every sacrifice for family, that she makes from day to day. All these things I saw first in you, Mother Norma. They came from your selfless way, her loving smile, her helping hand, her sympathy, devotion and her true encouragement. Her guidance and protection to our children as they grew, while telling them and showing them the things they needed to do. Yes, I thank you gracious mother for the girl you brought to life, my princess fair, my precious one, the one who is my forever wife.”