There are good people who feel they are just not up to par with those around them. They hold back from the group and you will always find them standing in the back behind the others. I have sometimes said, and also heard others say, when being awarded or rewarded, “I’m not worthy” and not always said in jest. These folks don’t have to say anything, their demeanor says it all, “I’m not worthy”. When they were younger they clung to mother’ skirt or leg. They were afraid to reach out to others until long after other children would have been embracing others. Why? What is it that causes the emotion of bashfulness or awkwardness around others? There are some who grow out of it and others who continue to be awkward around other people.
I was reading an article by Jeff Reagan about wild animals and humans. He described these wild animals as being used to interacting with Traumatized veterans. I was amazed at how these animals can be safely trained to work with people. The article read that: “In a supervised environment, wolves are drawing new connections to us humans. Places like ‘Wolf Connection’, a rehab facility in California, is a facility that works with veterans, recovering addicts and even business folks looking for an unusual outing.” But you are warned that you can’t just waltz right in among the pack. You’ve probably heard about the “alpha” wolf. But the zeta and omega are in charge of “sniffing” you, giving you the once-over. As they get familiar with you and feel comfortable then you’re clear to enter the wolf pack. Pretty cool. Apparently, there’s something calming about sitting and interacting among the wolves. They have such a ferocious reputation, but when they take a shine to you, the interaction can really beat back anxiety and depression. One story from ‘Wolf Connection’ really got to me…A big veteran who had been through a lot was waiting to see if the wolves would approach. He’d lost a leg and had extensive burn scars. “She’s not going to pick me.” he said. “Nobody ever picks me.” The wolf named Willow sauntered over… and plopped down right in the veteran’s lap. The handler said Willow just doesn’t do that. She typically keeps to herself. And the vet hugged this wolf tightly with tears in his eyes. She was not so big and bad, after all. And these wolves probably won’t blow your house down.
What amazed me about the story was the statement made by the ‘big’ vet just before the wolf elected to sit on him; “She’s not going to pick me,” he said. “Nobody ever picks me.” Even as a ‘big’ man, probably in his thirties, he still sees himself as he saw himself as a small child. He was still clinging to his mother’s leg or hanging onto her skirt. Many of those children eventually grow away from the fear of the world, and they begin, a little at a time, to tend to ‘wean themselves’ away from the bottle (mother). Others, such as this particular adult Vet, never seemed to be able to break completely away from his fear of the world and thinking that nobody could, or would, like him. Sad! Hopefully, Willow will change his self concept.